Final Thoughts
by Milotic
Summary: Episode 110 as seen through the eyes of Sailor Uranus. What does Haruka think about before she dies? Slight Haruka and Michiru.


Final Thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. I do, however, own this story. For those only familiar with the dub, names equivalents are the following:  
Haruka: Amara  
Michiru: Michelle  
Usagi: Serena

***

I wonder where Michiru goes when she ventures into her own world, where her thoughts travel to, where her mind wanders to. I wonder what it's like to completely leave reality behind, even if just for a moment. It's not fair. Why does she have to disappear into her own world? Why does she have to leave me behind?

Michiru, what do you think about? Do you think about me the way I often think about you?

"It's not fair to indulge in your own world."

Michiru looks up at me, a sad smile present on her face. I have ruined her reverie, cut short her escape.

"I had a dream. It was a feeling I've never had before," I admit to my partner.

"Me, too," Michiru confesses.

"Today I believe a Talisman will appear."

***

The rain pelts against the window, a soft and steady cadence. It looks lovely, the rain, and never fails to comfort me. I wonder if it comforts Michiru, too; it is, after all, her element.

The phone rings, but I do not answer it. Instead, I let the machine respond.

It's Eudial. She claims she has found the holder of a Talisman. She knows my identity as well as Michiru's, but has yet to tell her boss. I wonder who her boss is. She realizes that Michiru and I are searching for the Talismans as well and thinks we should become allies, leaving us with a location to meet her at. She wants to make a deal.

"She must be telling the truth about the Talisman based on what we have been feeling." Michiru has entered the room, her wavy hair still sopping.

"Yes, it matches our intuition," I agree.

I look down at my hands, the long, thin fingers tangles together. These hands are tainted…

"My hands are already dirty. I will make any sacrifice and use any means to get the Talismans," I announce to my partner.

Michiru sits down beside me on the window seat, a small smile playfully etched across her face. To my surprise, she entwines her fingers in mine.

"I like your hands," she says simply.

***

Michiru twirls around, her green skirt making a soft "swish" noise as it wraps around her legs, in an attempt to view all of the aquarium's fish at once. Michiru loves it here; she always has for as long as I've known her. Soon, though, the elevator bell rings, announcing that someone has arrived here on the top floor, and Michiru stops and faces me, her face serious, all business.

Usagi, however, is all smiles, a direct contrast to the stone cold facade on Michiru's face and mine.

"Wow! May I bring my friends here next time?" Usagi asks gleefully.

Michiru and I remain silent, our minds focused only on the task at hand.

"May I?" Usagi repeats.

Suddenly the young blond has angered me, her enthusiasm and cheer grating on my every nerve. Can't she see how serious the situation is?

"I never want to see you again…Sailor Moon!"

"But we're both Sailor Soldiers," Usagi reasons. "Doesn't that make us allies?"

Allies?

I lunge towards Usagi, ripping her transformation broach from her chest.

"I'll keep this for a while." I knock Usagi to the ground.

"Wait!" Usagi pleads. "Don't take any more pure hearts!"

"Shut up! If you appear before us again, you'll be killed!"

It's such a drastic threat, one filled with malice. I do not want to kill Usagi; however, I must finish this mission.

_These hands are tainted…_

Michiru and I transform, and I wonder if this will be the last time I will ever make-up into a Sailor Soldier.

"We're looking for Talismans sealed in Pure Hearts. If we do not gather the three Talismans, the Sacred Cup will not appear," I warn the now broach-less Usagi.

"In this world, the Silence and the moment of ruin are approaching. Only the Messiah who can control the Sacred Cup can stop it," Michiru continues.

"Don't interfere."

With that final word of caution, Michiru and I board the helicopter waiting for us, leaving Usagi behind.

Soon in the distance we see a cathedral on the sea, one shrouded in darkness…a fortress of death. Will Michiru and I reach our death there?

"We will find the holder of the Talisman here," I comment to Michiru, who nods.

Upon landing, we stand outside the fortress, an imposing sight indeed. Neither of us speaks, until Michiru decides to break the silence.

"Whatever happens, we must concentrate on the mission and not worry about one another's safety."

I look over at Michiru, who suddenly reaches over to grab my hand; then she thinks better of it and pulls away. We both know that if she had completed the gesture our mission would have ended that very moment.

"I know," I reply.

Darkness and quiet pervade the inside of the cathedral; red panels, ones engraved with cupids, cover its walls. How ironic. Is the creator of this building trying to mock us?

Michiru and I proceed cautiously, walking slowly and carefully. Michiru turns, sensing something.

Suddenly the panels shoot out from the walls, attacking us with arrows. Michiru and I skillfully dodge, retaliating with World Shaking and Deep Submerge, destroying them all.

"I think we've got them all—"

Michiru jumps and pushes me to the floor. Dazed and confused, I look towards my partner, only to see the final panel attack her, throwing her against the wall and then through an opening in the wall. I try to follow, but the wall seals itself immediately. I cannot reach her.

Whatever happened to the pact we made before entering the cathedral? Michiru, you fool…

"The two of you have been completely tricked!" Eudial's voice rings out from another room. I begin running towards the sound. "Let me tell you something…your partner, Sailor Neptune, holds a Talisman!"

Michiru…a Talisman…that cannot be…No!

Inside the main chamber, a thick, thorny vine holds my wounded partner against the panel, the sight of my worst nightmares. Michiru, you fool…

A narrow walkway leads to Michiru. Without thinking, I run across, run into another trap. In all likelihood I knew what was in store for me before I set foot on that walkway.

I lay on the ground, the attack finally finished. Eudial approaches me, a triumphant smile plastered on her face.

"Didn't you know that this trap attacks anyone besides me who tries to walk across it?" She laughs. "It's the ultimate torture."

Yes, I have received the ultimate torture, although it wasn't from the Eudial's slings and arrows.

"Now I have the other Talisman," Eudial exclaims proudly.

"The other Talisman?"

"You've never been afraid to get your hands dirty. You've been trying to protect this world. I'm talking about your heart!"

Eudial presses the gun to my wounded breast, ready to extract my heart crystal.

_These hands are tainted…_

"The Talismans are sealed in Pure Hearts. Therefore, I do not have one."

"We shall see." Eudial smiles. "No matter what, the shot from this gun will kill you."

I look into Eudial's eyes. She seems serious. How could I, though, possess a Talisman?

Suddenly Eudial looks away, her attention successfully diverted. "What?" she cries.

Michiru, badly wounded, is slowly making her way towards us.

"No!" I beg. It is too late, though.

Suddenly the trap activates itself again, arrows shooting into Michiru already weak body. Yes, I have received the ultimate torture…

The trap runs out of ammunition, and Michiru continues to painstakingly make her way towards Eudial. Michiru prepares for Deep Submerge, but Eudial is ready, pressing the gun to Michiru's chest and pulling the trigger.

Her Pure Heart is successfully extracted, and Michiru slumps to the ground.

I can still picture Michiru that morning, her wet hair draped over her shoulders, her assuring smile. I can still feel her slender fingers intertwining with mine.

Michiru, you fool…

I watch as my partner's Pure Heart transforms into a small mirror.

"The Talismans really were sealed in us?"

This is it then. I rest my head on the ground, finally feelings the physical pain from the previous attack. Sunlight streams through the stain glass window directly above me, one marked with a beautiful butterfly. How could fate be so cruel?

"Oh, Messiah, is this the penalty for our deeds?" I wonder aloud.

Eudial reaches to grab the Talisman, but someone else has entered the cathedral.

I swear I am seeing the Messiah, but it is only Usagi, who charges Eudial, knocking her to the ground. I watch as the redhead falls from the platform.

Usagi gasps with horror when she sees the mirror and Michiru's lifeless body.

"Please, Talisman! Go back to being Michiru's Pure Heart," she begs.

"It doesn't matter."

"What? Why?" Usagi questions.

"A Talisman has been found. That's all that matters."

Is it, though? Michiru…

I toss Usagi her broach. She begins to fight me for Eudial's gun, which I have grabbed.

"No! We can save the world without Talismans!" Usagi argues.

She is full of such determination, such good. She is the type of person who should have played host to a Pure Hear…not me. Most of all, she is full of hope.

"When you say that I almost believe you…" I say softly.

_These hands are tainted…_

"…but I don't believe in your powers."

I turn the gun on myself.

Michiru, where do you go when you travel into your own world? Where do your thoughts travel to? Where does your mind wander to? Perhaps now I will know…Perhaps now we can truly be partners…

With one last shudder, I pull the trigger.

Author's Note: OK, so I know this kind of stinks, but hopefully you'll forgive me. I'm not sure if I'll ever write SM fanfiction again (I really want to focus on my ongoing Pokeshipping stories, Together and Always with You), but I really do love Haruka and Michiru as a couple, so you never know. :) In case you've only seen the dub, Haruka and Michiru (Amara and Michelle)/ Uranus and Neptune are not cousins; Ms. Takeuchi herself (the creator of SM) has said they are lovers.\

I watched this episode before writing this fic, but, since I couldn't possible remember everything, I also got some info from Castle in the Sky's web site.

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review. :)


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